How Much Can You Say?
Personal post, but perhaps some of you can nod ‘yes’ to what I have to say. Otherwise, it is mainly me having to put down my thoughts and feelings before I explode.
I have a friend. I love her. She’s absolutely great and I truly enjoy spending time with her and she has been there a lot for me in the almost 2 years I have known her. However, she has begun to feel entitled to some stuff about me, which she has no right to dig. In particular my economic situation, which is truly a rollercoaster, to tell you the truth.
But, no one has a right to know about my economy except me (and maybe my banker, but she never calls me) and I don’t have to explain it to anyone.Yet, she has a tendency to act like I have insulted her and her ancestors with my situation and that she can tell me anything she so desires about it.
I’m sorry, but that is not how it works. And I will stand my ground on that. I don’t demand explanation from her.
It all started with me owing her 11 DKK from Friday. We’re talking about 11 DKK, which is aproximately 1,50 USD, which she wrote about me paying her today. I naturally told her I could not as I did not have the money, but she would get them as soon as we reached April first thing. It escalated into her saying how I could not have the money, how my situation continued to shock her all the time and yadda yadda yadda. The fuck up? She didn’t even need them – it was principles.
I have never had a friend bring up principles for 11 DKK. N.E.V.E.R! Hell, I have given friends 11 DKK and blown it off as nothing because it was small change for me. And she then manages to turn everything onto me and how I just have to tell her next time, so she doesn’t have to wait 2 weeks on them.
Now, let me make it clear; she had every right to ask for them. Of course she did. She did not have the right to turn it into something which was basically my fault for not having control over my money this month and how degrading it was to her.
Next, and the most important thing in all of this (which, unfortunately, is completely lost on her) is that it shows (to me) she does not trust me. She does not trust me, her friend, to pay her back if I don’t do it right away and if I don’t tell her if I can’t. Mind you, I would have done so with a larger sum, but for me, that pocket change is not a larger sum. I have never had to do it with anyone before and I did not expect it here, which was why I did not say anything.
Right now, I am left with a feeling of distrust from my friend’s side. A friend who I have always trusted and which I thought went both ways. Apparently not, if she can do this over money. Yet another reason I don’t borrow from friends, but I had never expected it to be brought up over 11 DKK.
But, am I in the wrong? Is it alright for a friend to almost demand an explanation for your money situation even though it has nothing to do with her?
I don’t believe so, but I am also sensitive about this subject. What I have listened to the most in the last 6 months is my weight and my money.
I am so deeply tired of it that I have started to close down on these subjects. You bring it up, that is up to you. Just don’t expect me to stand idly by and nod my head like you’re right. Because for me, you’re not. You’re not me and you know squat about my economy, my weight, my religion and my political beliefs and generally what I stand for (apparently).
I expect comments from some people; I never really expect judgement from my friends.